What is a friend?
Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 11:25 am
Simple question? Hardly. There may be as many defintions as there are people. Some are VERY strict - very exclusive - feling that a person can't possibly be a friend unless you've known them for several years and there is a very strong bond / connection that has grown over that time. Everyone else is just an acquaintence - no matter how long you've known them or how often you gt together with them. By that defintion, someone you've known for literally 40 years or more and still keep in touch may not actually be a friend! I doubt many people's definitions are that strict, but there are some who feel that way.
Of course the internet has introduced a very new concept that will take many years to sort through - the concept of an online friend or internet friend. By many people's definitions, that would be an impossibility. But is it?
There clearly (to me) are various levels of friendships. I think the simplest defintion I ran into is someone you know, like, and trust. I woudl contend that at it's most elementary level, you can have a casula friend if you know them somewhat, like them to the extent that you know them, and can trust them to some extent with certain things.
As those three elements grow, so does the intensity or degree or level of the friendship.
I suspect most people on the board here have a more relaxed view of friendship. I ran across this (somewhat corny) defintion from a to z; obviously it's contrived to fit each letter of the alphabet - and yet I think hits on a lot of things. In my mind, you don't need all 26 elements to have a friend, but if you have say 15-20 of them to some extent (and there is a lot of redundency in these elements anyway), I'd say that person is a friend - no matter what other people's defintion might be.
Any thoughts? For example - can "internet acquaintences" be friends at some level? Not necessarily in your opinion (since I suspect it would be yes for most of us), but what do you think other people you know feel about it?
The A-Z of friendship
A Friend....
Accepts you as you are
Believes in "you"
Calls you just to say "HI"
Doesn't give up on you
Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
Forgives your mistakes
Gives unconditionally
Helps you
Invites you over
Just "be" with you
Keeps you close at heart
Loves you for who you are
Makes a difference in your life
Never judges
Offers support
Picks you up
Quiets your fears
Raises your spirits
Says nice things about you
Tells you the truth when you need to hear it
Understands you
Values you
Walks beside you
X-plains things you don't understand
Yells when you won't listen and..
Zaps you back to reality
Of course the internet has introduced a very new concept that will take many years to sort through - the concept of an online friend or internet friend. By many people's definitions, that would be an impossibility. But is it?
There clearly (to me) are various levels of friendships. I think the simplest defintion I ran into is someone you know, like, and trust. I woudl contend that at it's most elementary level, you can have a casula friend if you know them somewhat, like them to the extent that you know them, and can trust them to some extent with certain things.
As those three elements grow, so does the intensity or degree or level of the friendship.
I suspect most people on the board here have a more relaxed view of friendship. I ran across this (somewhat corny) defintion from a to z; obviously it's contrived to fit each letter of the alphabet - and yet I think hits on a lot of things. In my mind, you don't need all 26 elements to have a friend, but if you have say 15-20 of them to some extent (and there is a lot of redundency in these elements anyway), I'd say that person is a friend - no matter what other people's defintion might be.
Any thoughts? For example - can "internet acquaintences" be friends at some level? Not necessarily in your opinion (since I suspect it would be yes for most of us), but what do you think other people you know feel about it?
The A-Z of friendship
A Friend....
Accepts you as you are
Believes in "you"
Calls you just to say "HI"
Doesn't give up on you
Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
Forgives your mistakes
Gives unconditionally
Helps you
Invites you over
Just "be" with you
Keeps you close at heart
Loves you for who you are
Makes a difference in your life
Never judges
Offers support
Picks you up
Quiets your fears
Raises your spirits
Says nice things about you
Tells you the truth when you need to hear it
Understands you
Values you
Walks beside you
X-plains things you don't understand
Yells when you won't listen and..
Zaps you back to reality